10 things that every telugu girl in matrimony sites can relate to.

10 things that every telugu girl in matrimony sites can relate to:

Most of us are aware of the fact that we are living in 21^st century. Women are thriving in every field they take up. Telugu women are no exception from this. We have witnessed P.V.Sindhu winning the medal in Olympics. We feel proud of Suneetha Reddy for what she has done to Apollo. We want more ‘Kalvakuntla Kavitha’s in politics. We wish Shobha Naidu continues to make our country proud. Most of the parents here give much importance to girl education and they don’t think twice on spending money on her education. They let her plan career on her own. Things go absolutely well until she completes her education but things don’t go straight when it comes to marriage. Most of the parents here want their daughters to go for arranged marriages. Not that they don’t believe in their daughter’s selection but they are scared of the judgemental society that they are living in. Society can’t accept a girl marrying a boy of different caste or religion other than her’s. So in the petrified process of finding the unknown ‘same caste groom’, we girls rely on matrimony sites. What actually happens in matrimony sites? We need to provide our height, weight, complexion (Thank god! They haven’t asked for our measurements. But sooner or later they will. After all groom wants to know right?), family details, job location and income. We girls also have this privilege of ‘partner preferences’ where we can actually mention our requirements (Of course..we compromise on lot many things while mentioning). Here are the 10 things we hate about being in matrimonial sites.

1. Is there a word called ‘privacy’ in my life?

Yes! Privacy Settings exist. But it’s mandatory to provide height, body type and complexion. It’s not mandatory to add our photos but to catch the grooms eyes we really need to upload our pics. We seriously hate doing this. But we don’t have choice. Isn’t it so exciting to let the world know even our personal minutia? Wow! We feel so amazing. Don’t we?

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2. Are his details correct?

Yes! We get scared when we see news like “He took dowry and departed his wife”, “An Indian guy from the USA has given fake information on his job and got married to a girl in Hyderabad. She filed case on him”. We want our marital life to be smooth. We can’t live in guilt. We are not brave enough like other girls to give divorce if anything goes wrong. Our names are synonymous with patience, helplessness and adjustment.

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3. Please don’t stalk us on social media and judge.

Yes! We accept that we also check for your profile on social media sites but our intention is different. We want to ensure whether the details provided by you in the matrimony sites are credible or not. But few “Matrimony guys” stalk us to see our friends list, the comments we have on our photos, our  male friends. Please don’t judge us based on that. We girls, have friends and friends include boys too. If I am in a relationship with a boy..why would you see me in matrimony site?

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4. Horoscope..Why don’t you disappear?

Yes! We want you to disappear so that we can live peacefully. It’s so disheartening to receive a “No” from a guy only because of the fact that our horoscopes didn’t match. How can we let horoscope decide our life? Previously there were very few great pandits/astrologers to predict our lives but now the scenario is different. There are atleast 10 astrologers per street willing to predict our future (meanwhile they themselves don’t have an idea how their future would look like). These Nakshatras/starsigns/birthtime matching got nothing to do with our marital lives. There are thousands of successful love marriages that never bothered about “matching-matching” business.

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5. Don’t make us wait. Waiting is wretched.

Yes! When we fortunately like some guy’s profile, we make our fathers call him. He says he will let us know his opinion by tomorrow. And that tomorrow is never going to come. Waiting is miserable guys. Okay! You don’t like me? Cool! At least convey the same to the 40+ years old man that called you on the other day with hope that you could be his future son-in-law. Respect his age at least. Kindly let us know even if your answer is “NO”. We are mature enough to understand your concerns.

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6. Dear 40+ and Divorcees.. Please put your interest on us back onto your bald head.

Yes! We hate when we get a request/interest from 40+ guys and divorcees. Our mothers (sometimes fathers too) are of your age. I am here in matrimony just because I don’t want to spoil my “family’s, extended family’s, distant relatives” reputation (I am still wondering how can all of them place their family’s reputation on us girls? Wow. We are the saviors. Clap for us!) by marrying a guy against their wish. That doesn’t mean we have boyfriends. We probably would have chosen one after getting successful in career. We are career oriented. After all we are raised by you.

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7. Don’t decide our career. We can do that on our own.

Yes! Is there any girl who specifies “I want my husband to work after marriage” / “I don’t want my husband to work after marriage”. You want your wife to work after marriage? Why are you letting your opinion rule us..It’s our wish. If we feel like working, we’ll work. Otherwise we won’t. Let’s spill the beans. It’s high time. Are you not taking dowry? Isn’t it enough? You might say “Job makes women independent”. Who said? Job makes a woman independent only in terms of money. That’s all. A woman can be independent in her thoughts, choices, decisions and in lot many.

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8. Society..Please let us live. Free suggestions are not accepted.

Yes! Neighbors and relatives are the primary reason behind us rolling over the matrimony sites. Why don’t they realize that our age has nothing to do with them. Please stop giving free suggestions to our parents. If you are so concerned about me..then do one thing. Please get a life. Don’t make our lives suffocating. We know what to do. There’s nowhere written that a girl needs to get married before 25.

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9. Calculation fails. We need to compromise.

Yes! Intercaste/Interreligion marriages are not acceptable here right? Cool! Imagine there is a community with 3 lakh people all around the globe. Number of men between the age 25 to 30 are 25,000. In that 25000 we want our hubster to live in our state. So the count decreases to 1000. In that thousand only 5 guys meet our requirements in terms of family status(no.of sisters),values,his job and his income. So the society wants us to decide our partner only among these 5 men? Compromise business can’t make us happy. Guess what? This ain’t happening. 

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10. Let’s grow up. If not now..When?

 Yes! Society..Please don’t show your obsolete behavior on girls and don’t let your modest(may be narrow) brains judge us. It’s really tough to be in a matrimony site. It’s disgusting. But we don’t have choice. Don’t blame our parents for not raising us right if we opt for love marriage. Our country is developing..it is launching satellites, it is progressing in medicine, nanotechnology, genetics, banking and in many fields. Please let us develop. Please let us take decision of our marriage on our own. Let us also move forward along with our developing country. Please don’t make our lives more miserable. We aren’t brought into the world to lead a depressing life. Let’s talk. Let's face this.

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Post Scriptum : These are my personal opinions. This is just to show how a girl actually feels in matrimonial sites. It is not written to hurt any person or any group. It is not intended to defame any matrimonial sites(In fact it’s because of matrimonial sites choosing partners has become easy. Otherwise we will have to give our photos to lot many mediators/marriage brokers). Thank you for reading! Hope India takes its women along with it towards progress.

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